Here's how I see it

Basically, this blog is a way for me to attempt to express myself so that I can feel like there is the possibility that someone will someday read it, and understand what I'm all about. I confuse myself sometimes with my thoughts and doubts, and I often confuse others...

So here it is: installment one. I neither believe nor disbelieve in a higher being - a "god" if you will. I see no proof for either case. I don't see miracles as proof, and I don't see scientific explanations as proof either. I see a lot of beauty, and a lot of coincidence, and as a result, I have to suffer a lot of flack. People see me as a 'flip-flopper' - and to them, I have to say 2 things:
1. There is an undeniable strength in being able to change your mind due to changes in evidence.
2. I don't swing between faith and lack thereof.
I guess it can be hard to understand how that could possibly work; neither believing nor disbelieving, and I guess I would have to say that it is - and by disbelieving, I suppose that I put myself more in the scientific camp, but do remember that I am not an atheist - I refuse to disbelieve in something simply because there is no support.

Anyway, here's how I see it:
It isn't really a question of believing in a higher being. All of the flack I've received is mostly because I don't belong to a particular (your) religion. That is something that I refuse to do - more than disbelieving in a higher being, I disbelieve in religion. For one thing, it seems to me that if there is a god, or even more than one god, people shouldn't bash others because it isn't THEIR god. You know what I mean? Why can't there be more than one? Or why does your particular method of worship have to be the Right Way?

I've lost my train of thought... actually I was just talking about trains with Sara... I want to go down to the shore with her and kp, but I have to be back for kp's GA concert, which means that we will probably have to take a train up and back... but no biggie.

Anyway, the point is that while I don't necessarily have 'religion', I do have a definite spirituality. I feel like trees and lakes and the ocean and nature in general have a sort of personality... I'm not entirely sure why, or what I get out of it, but I don't believe that it is the presence of a god that I feel, it's more like an awareness of the incredible beauty of our Earth, as well as an awareness of the complexity... does this all make sense? I've been sick today, so I should probably get some rest.

Just to conclude... I often feel like the beauty of the world is enough, and while I like to understand things (heck, I want to study astrophysics) I don't need to believe that a higher being orchestrated it. It's all right with me if it happened all on its own.
I hope you enjoyed the pictures as much as I do!

Can I just say...

I love love LOVE my blog!! It's so official looking, and it's SO pretty. I guess that's the girl in me speaking, haha - but seriously, the whole picture thing is just awesome looking... I love that the writing can go next to it. That makes me really very happy, in an extremely dorkish way. You know what's even dorkier? The picture there on the left.

Tee hee : )

So, what have I been up to? I taught this morning, which really sapped my energy, then I got home, ate breakfast/lunch, and slept for 4 hours. Then I hung out with Brendan for a while. Then, I ate dinner (this is a real run-down of my day) and finally signed online, and wouldn't you know! Kenny was online! But then (I think he saw me sign online) he signed off. Or maybe (as I shouldn't think the worst of people) he was signing off as I signed on... eh. Bleh. I don't feel well.

Anyway, then my day was made pretty much worthwhile, because my friend Dan (from band camp) imed me, which is so nice because it means that he wants to keep in touch.

So, ups and downs, but overall, a pretty good day as it were. As it was? I can never figure out that phrase.

Oh, and one more thing; the weather - when it wasn't raining - was absolutely lovely. I love the pre-storm atmosphere. I love it when it's cloudy and cool and windy, and the trees are talking and the green leaves are against the gray sky... just gorgeous. Maybe I'll move to England, where it supposedly rains all the time, just so that I can have that.

Maybe...

Photos from WCSU Band Camp

Wow, another blog post so soon after the last?! Quell surprise! These are some photos from band camp (as the title of this particular post informs you so succinctly) that I thought you might enjoy... I hope you do! Especially because I do!

This first photo is (or should be, if I can figure out how to get the images to upload correctly without destroying each other...) the infamous Scott Crawford! Yes, he is wearing a pirate hat. And let me tell you - that was all me. Yup. Isn't he really cute? I'm sorry that the photo is a little blurry... I was too shy to try again, even though I KNOW he was watching me, upon occasion...


This picture, and the one to the right, are a testament to my absolute brilliance! No, your eyes are not fooling you. I did indeed make a model of Stonehenge out of tater-tots. What do you think?

The camp loved it!! It got put into the slide-show, and everyone cheered when it came up :D (what they saw was a picture similar to the one on the right, except taken from a lower angle, so that my face was just above the 'Tater-henge".


Next, we have my friend Dan, who hung around with Brendan and me for pretty much the entire week. I think I said "How do you play with a mustache?!" I think that I ask lots of people that question. I still don't get it.

What can I say? haha
Anyway, Dan is a year younger than me, although he's going into the same grade as Brendan. It was so nice to have someone to talk to other than Brendan. Not that Brendan isn't absolutely my favorite (Brendan you're absolutely my favorite... in fact, I just told Kristen that), but he did admit to trying to annoy me as much as possible. SIGH.

So, I took that picture when we were all eating, obviously... I have one of Chucky/Lotsof. People and one of Brendan, too, but I figure you don't really need to see that. Plus Brendan doesn't react well to having his picture taken, let alone posted on the internet...

This one time, Brendan and Dan wore the same shirt, and it was really cute. I took a picture.

And finally, we have the boys - from left to right: Dan, Dan, Eric. That guy on the right is some unknown counselor... just ignore him. Instruments from left to right: trumpet, percussion, trumpet. Oh, those trumpet boys. I have rarely met one that I didn't like.

Except, actually, there was this little 11 year old at band camp who wasn't going to listen to me because I'm a 'Female trumpet player', and I (unfortunately) got so mad that I told him to sit himself down, and when he felt like being mature, Then and Only Then could he play with us.
Hey, it worked.
I decided to post this of Chucky/Lotsof. People anyway, so that you can see that I was not being a creepy stalker-ish person. I just wanted photos of people eating! ; )

So, that's basically it for pictures, I think... There are tons of stories - hey, it's band camp! Of course there are! But honestly, I can't remember all of them, and honestly, you probably don't want to read about them. Not to mention I'm pretty sure that as of right now (the posting of this second post) I am the only one that knows about this - which is really, too too bad, but ah well - you can't have everything.

Just another day?

Hello!
This is blog number one in my new blog site thingy... I hope that if you've found it, you'll enjoy it! Today, I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, an absolutely phenomenal book. I really really really enjoyed it, and I really loved how it ended - JK did an amazing job; she totally met expectations, and trust me, if everyone else's were like mine, then no one was disappointed.

**SPOILER WARNING**

THANK GOODNESS Snape was good, thank goodness thank goodness. I don't know what I would have done had he not been; I think it would would have been too much for me - I placed my faith with Dumbledore. I do, however, have to admit that I was SO shocked when I read that Dumbledore was using Harry ... Though I also have to admit that I knew that Harry was the final Horacrux. I just figured it would have had to be, that's why Harry and Voldermort can get in each other's heads. And I figured that that would be a satisfying twist to the end of the novel.
And you know, HOORAY FOR HARRY FREAKING POTTER! (Wizard people, dear readers, haha)

**END OF SPOILER**

Whew, I just had to get that out. Sorry this may be a little choppy... the writing on the screen is going much slower than my fingers, which is infinitely amusing, but also extremely distracting...

Right, so anyway, to the reason you're here - you just really want to read about my life, isn't that right? Well, this has been my week in a nutshell:

So, for the last week, I've been away at band camp. Before I went, I got really upset with my boyfriend because he's too stiff and unbending and incapable of any fun that he himself has not planned (yet he does not plan stuff for us to do) and he blamed me for all the mud on his white sneakers. later he basically told me that I can't change the world. O.o

Then I went to band camp for a week and met some awesome people, including an awesome trumpet player named Laura who used to study with Louise, and a funny french horn player named Lauren (we were the only horns in our band - she was a counselor and I was playing horn instead of trumpet because they needed another horn). I also met this really nice guy named Dan who, oddly enough, has a really good friend named Noreen (but with only one 'o') - haha I love hearing that there are other No(o)reens in the world!

ugh. So, long story short, I had an amazing time at band camp, Harry Potter is absolutely my favorite, and something needs to happen in this relationship because I'm not happy anymore.
Basically.

(edited post)