Here's how I see it

Basically, this blog is a way for me to attempt to express myself so that I can feel like there is the possibility that someone will someday read it, and understand what I'm all about. I confuse myself sometimes with my thoughts and doubts, and I often confuse others...

So here it is: installment one. I neither believe nor disbelieve in a higher being - a "god" if you will. I see no proof for either case. I don't see miracles as proof, and I don't see scientific explanations as proof either. I see a lot of beauty, and a lot of coincidence, and as a result, I have to suffer a lot of flack. People see me as a 'flip-flopper' - and to them, I have to say 2 things:
1. There is an undeniable strength in being able to change your mind due to changes in evidence.
2. I don't swing between faith and lack thereof.
I guess it can be hard to understand how that could possibly work; neither believing nor disbelieving, and I guess I would have to say that it is - and by disbelieving, I suppose that I put myself more in the scientific camp, but do remember that I am not an atheist - I refuse to disbelieve in something simply because there is no support.

Anyway, here's how I see it:
It isn't really a question of believing in a higher being. All of the flack I've received is mostly because I don't belong to a particular (your) religion. That is something that I refuse to do - more than disbelieving in a higher being, I disbelieve in religion. For one thing, it seems to me that if there is a god, or even more than one god, people shouldn't bash others because it isn't THEIR god. You know what I mean? Why can't there be more than one? Or why does your particular method of worship have to be the Right Way?

I've lost my train of thought... actually I was just talking about trains with Sara... I want to go down to the shore with her and kp, but I have to be back for kp's GA concert, which means that we will probably have to take a train up and back... but no biggie.

Anyway, the point is that while I don't necessarily have 'religion', I do have a definite spirituality. I feel like trees and lakes and the ocean and nature in general have a sort of personality... I'm not entirely sure why, or what I get out of it, but I don't believe that it is the presence of a god that I feel, it's more like an awareness of the incredible beauty of our Earth, as well as an awareness of the complexity... does this all make sense? I've been sick today, so I should probably get some rest.

Just to conclude... I often feel like the beauty of the world is enough, and while I like to understand things (heck, I want to study astrophysics) I don't need to believe that a higher being orchestrated it. It's all right with me if it happened all on its own.
I hope you enjoyed the pictures as much as I do!