I'm going to step out of my skin and show you my bones,
drenched in my blood, my sweat, my tears
bones that, even bleached white by an unforgiving sun, will gleam with my essence because they are my core.
I'm going to step out of my skin and show you my bones, and you had better not flinch when I do because YOU have made me what I am.
I'm going to step out of my skin and show you my bones because I want there to be no more pretenses and no more lies. I want there to be nothing between me and the truth because the truth all of the time has got to be better than these half-truths, these simplifications, these lies.
I want you to step out of your skin and dance in your bones with me. I want the world to shake off this thing cloaking our beings and I want us to Be.
Can we just be, please? Be in our Bones?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Age?
I'm really tired.
I just got home for spring break, and I'm sad to not be at Wellesley.
-What?-
I know. Ridiculous. I'm definitely happy to be home though, although somewhat disappointed by the fact that it isn't a week at home, it's half a week in Florida and then a few days at home.
Sadly, I have a feeling that I'll be doing most of my homework in Florida. Simply because I won't have internet/anything to do. Isn't that funny? At least, ironic.
Honestly, I'm really bothered by something that someone said to me today... an implication that I don't act my age, or that the way that I act is less than mature - and wrong. Why? Because I get excited at interesting things? That I find the world amazing? It's true, that does make me more akin to a 4 year old than a 25 year old in this society, but, honestly, why is that? It's because the 25 year old stops taking joy in his/her surroundings because s/he's seen it all before. Why do I have to be like that in order to be considered mature? I handle situations beyond my 18 (or... 4) years with just as much, if not more, maturity than the next adult, while continuing to enjoy the world.
Man, I guess I'm just an awkward mix of 4 year old and 18 year old.
Darn.
I just got home for spring break, and I'm sad to not be at Wellesley.
-What?-
I know. Ridiculous. I'm definitely happy to be home though, although somewhat disappointed by the fact that it isn't a week at home, it's half a week in Florida and then a few days at home.
Sadly, I have a feeling that I'll be doing most of my homework in Florida. Simply because I won't have internet/anything to do. Isn't that funny? At least, ironic.
Honestly, I'm really bothered by something that someone said to me today... an implication that I don't act my age, or that the way that I act is less than mature - and wrong. Why? Because I get excited at interesting things? That I find the world amazing? It's true, that does make me more akin to a 4 year old than a 25 year old in this society, but, honestly, why is that? It's because the 25 year old stops taking joy in his/her surroundings because s/he's seen it all before. Why do I have to be like that in order to be considered mature? I handle situations beyond my 18 (or... 4) years with just as much, if not more, maturity than the next adult, while continuing to enjoy the world.
Man, I guess I'm just an awkward mix of 4 year old and 18 year old.
Darn.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Train
churning underneath
like pedal tones to life
storm clouds
rain crying across the windows
gray-green hills rolling by me
I stand still.
Watching.
I wonder if the people know their lives are [passing] by my train.
rushing.
[chugging].
leaping.
Joyfully to an end.
Rain crying on the windows
Tears raining on my cheeks.
Endings.
My train
-stands still-
gray-green clouds I'm underwater sunlight burns above the surface beams of light rebound above but clouds too dense for [penetration] keep the song from being heard and so
I ride the train.
and the world goes on without me.
chugging.
pedal tones to life.
[ ] denote words that I'm not exactly 100% happy with yet.
So, this is a song that I'm writing/that I've been writing for years. It's a piano composition that I've never been able to put onto paper because it keeps changing... but the basis of it always remains the same. The core of the piece never changes; the beginning is always the same. The notes for the sunlight are always the same. The image is always the same. My piano teacher told me that before I could write a piece of music, I had to visualize it. My image was this girl on a train, looking out a window at the world. It's cloudy out, and raining, and the country-side is passing her by - not the train passing the country by. It's the rain that gives it this feeling, rather than anything else. I don't know why it finally came out of me today - maybe it's the weather? But here it is. The text/poem above is my piece in words. Maybe this means that someday soon I'll be able to put the music on paper too.
P.S. Thanks to anita for "& n b s p" to make the formatting work out. even though it meant that I had to copy/paste like, 10,000 times. At least it looks mostly the way that I want it to!
P.P.S. I'm not depressed.
like pedal tones to life
storm clouds
rain crying across the windows
gray-green hills rolling by me
I stand still.
Watching.
I wonder if the people know their lives are [passing] by my train.
rushing.
[chugging].
leaping.
Joyfully to an end.
Rain crying on the windows
Tears raining on my cheeks.
Endings.
My train
-stands still-
gray-green clouds I'm underwater sunlight burns above the surface beams of light rebound above but clouds too dense for [penetration] keep the song from being heard and so
I ride the train.
and the world goes on without me.
chugging.
pedal tones to life.
[ ] denote words that I'm not exactly 100% happy with yet.
So, this is a song that I'm writing/that I've been writing for years. It's a piano composition that I've never been able to put onto paper because it keeps changing... but the basis of it always remains the same. The core of the piece never changes; the beginning is always the same. The notes for the sunlight are always the same. The image is always the same. My piano teacher told me that before I could write a piece of music, I had to visualize it. My image was this girl on a train, looking out a window at the world. It's cloudy out, and raining, and the country-side is passing her by - not the train passing the country by. It's the rain that gives it this feeling, rather than anything else. I don't know why it finally came out of me today - maybe it's the weather? But here it is. The text/poem above is my piece in words. Maybe this means that someday soon I'll be able to put the music on paper too.
P.S. Thanks to anita for "& n b s p" to make the formatting work out. even though it meant that I had to copy/paste like, 10,000 times. At least it looks mostly the way that I want it to!
P.P.S. I'm not depressed.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Dear Andrew
This post is just for you. Which is to say... it is not for me. Because that is the only other person it could possibly be for. Right now my computer is going really slowly, so I'm typing faster than the words are appearing on the screen, which is really neat! Like ... maids! and me! hah!
That's all I got. I can't think and type and watch the words all at once. This is like brain overload! What's really funny is when I make a typo, and I know that I've made a typo, but I can't see it, so I try to remember exactly how many spaces I should delete to fix it... sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm not. What would be really good would be to write a whole blog in this manner, and then not fix anything. Or I suppose I could just blindfold myself. That would give the same effect. So as I type this, my computer is writing "whole" as in "whole blog". I could just type the same thing over and over again. I don't know what it's writing now, it's been so long that I can't even remember. hahaha
ok well, I think that's all. Tonight I have to finish a book (40 more pages to go) and make an outline for my next paper for the class for which I am reading the book. Then I have to do some calc homework. So I could add here that I'm eternally grateful to you for agreeing to help me. I will also say that I am rather shameless in my use of chicken curry, and part of my reason for bringing so much with me was totally so that I could bribe people.
hehe
Well, now I'm going to sit back and watch my compute finish talking ! yay!
That's all!
Most sincerely,
Nooreen
P.S. That was kind of excellent.
That's all I got. I can't think and type and watch the words all at once. This is like brain overload! What's really funny is when I make a typo, and I know that I've made a typo, but I can't see it, so I try to remember exactly how many spaces I should delete to fix it... sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm not. What would be really good would be to write a whole blog in this manner, and then not fix anything. Or I suppose I could just blindfold myself. That would give the same effect. So as I type this, my computer is writing "whole" as in "whole blog". I could just type the same thing over and over again. I don't know what it's writing now, it's been so long that I can't even remember. hahaha
ok well, I think that's all. Tonight I have to finish a book (40 more pages to go) and make an outline for my next paper for the class for which I am reading the book. Then I have to do some calc homework. So I could add here that I'm eternally grateful to you for agreeing to help me. I will also say that I am rather shameless in my use of chicken curry, and part of my reason for bringing so much with me was totally so that I could bribe people.
hehe
Well, now I'm going to sit back and watch my compute finish talking ! yay!
That's all!
Most sincerely,
Nooreen
P.S. That was kind of excellent.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tonight
I walked home in the silent chill of winter after a day that had resounded with the harmonic winds of spring.
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Looking Up!
I see the sky! And clouds! And trees! And maybe my future, looking up too! Crazy, eh?
Life has been much better lately. I've made more friends, been to 3 parties in one weekend, and run a marathon all in one weekend!
Ok, well, the marathon was in my dreams. Literally. And it absolutely positively exhausted me, but it was interesting. I love remembering my dreams.
Life has been much better lately. I've made more friends, been to 3 parties in one weekend, and run a marathon all in one weekend!
Ok, well, the marathon was in my dreams. Literally. And it absolutely positively exhausted me, but it was interesting. I love remembering my dreams.
On Friday, I went to see Pam Melroy (my hero!) speak at Wellesley - she was great! I even got my picture taken with her :D
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty delighted. I don't remember the other woman's name, she's an astronaut too - but she wasn't as nice as Pam.
Funny how I'm taller than both of them : P
At the lecture, I got up to ask a question (I was waiting in the balcony) and they couldn't find me when I started talking - it was hilarious. All the people up there with me started yelling "up here!" which was really nice!
That's all I have to say. Sorry for this atrociously written post, but my head hurts after my marathon dream and I think I'm going to take a nap.
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty delighted. I don't remember the other woman's name, she's an astronaut too - but she wasn't as nice as Pam.
Funny how I'm taller than both of them : P
At the lecture, I got up to ask a question (I was waiting in the balcony) and they couldn't find me when I started talking - it was hilarious. All the people up there with me started yelling "up here!" which was really nice!
That's all I have to say. Sorry for this atrociously written post, but my head hurts after my marathon dream and I think I'm going to take a nap.
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