Things I should Avoid:

1. Taking myself too seriously.
2. Taking you too seriously.

tee hee

Tonight

I walked home in the silent chill of winter after a day that had resounded with the harmonic winds of spring.

I'm waiting.

Looking Up!

I see the sky! And clouds! And trees! And maybe my future, looking up too! Crazy, eh?

Life has been much better lately. I've made more friends, been to 3 parties in one weekend, and run a marathon all in one weekend!

Ok, well, the marathon was in my dreams. Literally. And it absolutely positively exhausted me, but it was interesting. I love remembering my dreams.

On Friday, I went to see Pam Melroy (my hero!) speak at Wellesley - she was great! I even got my picture taken with her :D

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty delighted. I don't remember the other woman's name, she's an astronaut too - but she wasn't as nice as Pam.
Funny how I'm taller than both of them : P

At the lecture, I got up to ask a question (I was waiting in the balcony) and they couldn't find me when I started talking - it was hilarious. All the people up there with me started yelling "up here!" which was really nice!

That's all I have to say. Sorry for this atrociously written post, but my head hurts after my marathon dream and I think I'm going to take a nap.

I haven't cried this much in years.

So, I'm homesick. Again.

Surprise.

It's not that I don't like Wellesley... it's more like, I think Wellesley is pretty ok. But it's not home. My family isn't here, my dogs aren't here, my plants aren't here... which my be stupid, but that's what homesickness is all about.

I'm terrified that something will happen to my family while I'm away.

I wonder if this will keep me from going abroad...

I just want to go home.
But, Greg is right. My future is here, and elsewhere.

I hate a future without my family.

Keys to my dream?

I talked to my aunt on the phone just now, and took notes in this blog thing because that was what was open. She interprets dreams, and that long crazy one that I had was kind of bugging me, so I asked her about it. This is what she had to say:

dark- don't know what's going on
outhouse - emotions
not going to the outhouse/refusing to cut the line- not expressing emotions
parents- safeguards, authority (telling me not to have a boyfriend right now)
his parents- also against it, again my authority, who's guarding the gates to nooreen?
bathroom- emotions
water in tub- clean; can't deal with emotions, but things are still good, good things coming, someone inside me who won't let me deal with emotions
nakedness- not afraid of expressing emotions
old (wise) woman- fairy godmother, cover yourself up, don't worry, things are going to work out ok
who is the fiance? something that i want to do that the gatekeepers say no about. security figures are what's in you that hold you back and won't let you do what you want to do.

Anyone care to take a crack?
I feel like the part where I'm waiting in the dark is most important... because I'm waiting passively. I'm not afraid, and I know that someone is coming - the someone ending up being my fiance. Which represents... what? I don't know.

I guess I'm going crazy.

How Odd

I just googled 'runemahogany' and a ton of things came up that I thought were totally secret. How weird.
Nothing I'm ashamed of, but still. I guess I should use different screennames, huh? haha
I just worry that I'll forget them or something though...

So I know that this is my third post today, but I just want to say that I love my pseudobrother. I went all philosophical and slightly crazed on him, and he was all 'it's cool, don't worry, be happy,' and he calmed me down. Good stuff.

It's just... I'm terrified by my own mortality. Scared witless at the knowledge of everyone else's mortality. It's like, what the heck are you supposed to do with 80 years? I mean, yeah, you can do a lot, but if you've only got so much time, then why are there such set, stupid, pointless things that we "have" to do?

And then you look at the people who try to prevent the happiness of others, people who don't care about the future, people who don't care about each other, and all I can say is 'why?'

Everyone should see Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Be excellent to each other.

Friends are Fun!

So, I was going to post this long comment on Heather's blog, and then I realized that um, I have my OWN blog for this sort of thing.

Yesterday, Pat and Mick came to visit! We had a great time, just hanging out playing Mario Party on the Wii, and ending with some Rock Band. It was really nice to see both of them, although Luna was really not thrilled to see Mick. She was more scared than I've ever seen her, hiding under the table and whining. It was so weird! And really sad. My poor bean, scared of a big bearded guy. She's so adorable, never growling at ANYONE (I heard her growl probably twice in her sleep... I wonder what she dreamt of that made her do it?) and she's never ever bit anyone. She nibbles though! haha
Anyway, I digress!
Last night mom and I went out to have dinner with SBP, Celina, their mom, Celina's friend Emily, Celina's friend Emily's mom, and Elsa. It was a lot fun :D and we tried to go bowling after, but the bowling ally was completely full! (who wudda thunk it?) So, mom and I went home and we watched Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, which was, obviously, Excellent.
Then, today, we took a bunch of collected recyclables to the recycling station for the music boosters, and a bunch of the band members came after with cans and bottles they collected today, so I got to see some of my trumpet boys :D. Man, I miss that kind of camaraderie, and them.
After that, we went to Costco, and lo and behold, we ran into Andrew Francis and his dad! Yesterday or the day before I asked my dad if he had heard from then recently... Mr Francis is so nice, and it was just really cool to see them. Andrew, a guy who gave me the middle finger in first grade or kindergarten (hahaha) but who I got to be friends with later.
Overall, it's been a nice couple of days : )
We might go see Cloverfield tonight... we shall see!